


Furry Mischief (or something like that)

by Jinx_the_Angel_of_Purgatory



Series: The Adventures of Shifter!Tony and the Team [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Compound, Bruce banner (mentioned) - Freeform, Bucky Barnes (mentioned) - Freeform, Camping, Creature Tony, Gen, James Rhodes (mentioned) - Freeform, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Lives, Loki (mentioned) - Freeform, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Pepper Potts (mentioned) - Freeform, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sam Wilson (mentioned) - Freeform, Steve Rogers (mentioned) - Freeform, Thor (mentioned) - Freeform, age of ultron did not happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 04:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinx_the_Angel_of_Purgatory/pseuds/Jinx_the_Angel_of_Purgatory
Summary: Clint and Natasha go camping. They run into a problem. Of the furry variety. Where IS Tony, anyways?





	Furry Mischief (or something like that)

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack, because I can. 
> 
> Un-betaed. All mistakes are mine.

It started, oddly enough, with a mink.

Steve and Sam had taken Bucky to Brooklyn. The former POW was readjusting, with the help of Tonys B.A.R.F. technology, but the process was gradual. It was decided that a week or two away from the Compound, relearning his old stomping grounds, would be beneficial.

Thor and Loki were busy in Norway. Turns out most Asguardians were picky about architecture. Thor had no opinion other than the need for a feast hall. Loki was desperately trying to introduce the surviving Aesir to Midguardian styles. He wasnt overly particular, as long as he could prance around (Clint maintains that laughing his ass off when Tony called Loki Prancer to his face was worth the month of purple hair and sabotaged arrows had been worth it. No one had gotten hurt because of it, so as far as pranks went, it was harmless revenge) in his leather get ups without sticking out like a sore thumb. ("Norns mercy. No more gold.")

Bruce had elected to remain with the Aesir, despite Tony pleading to have his Science Bro back. Despite his fears, he had managed to change back, once they had made it back to Earth. Unfortunantly, he was still Mean and Green more than half the time. It was safer amongst people capable of taking him down if the need arose. Valkrie was perfectly capable of it.

That left Clint, Natasha, and Tony at the Compound full time. No S.H.I.E.L.D. meant no missions, and Tony was normally in his lab, according to JARVIS, so the ex-spies had to find other means of occupying themselves. Thus, camping.

The Compound was situated in upstate New York, surrounded by dozens of miles of trees and nature and nothing else. Perfect for "roughing it".

On the first day, they constructed a suitable camp. It hadn't taken long to contruct hamocks and a decent firepit. Clint spent the day making traps, Natasha forging decent weapons from what was on hand. 

The second day found Clint setting up his traps. Five baskets stratagetically placed in a shallow area of a nearby river, and two ground traps, suitable for birds and squirrels.

They ate well on the third and fourth day, and were keeping a heafty load of fish to haul back to the Compound fresh in a cooler, packed with salt. 

The fifth found the traps empty. Clint had pulled all but one of the water traps, and kept both of the other traps out. The cooler was nearly full. All three had been emptied, and tiny paw prints surrounded the areas they were set in.

"You thinking Otter?" Clint inquires.

"Seems a bit small for an otter," Natasha said, tilting her head. "Mink?"

"One way to find out."

The ex-spies grinned at each other. Game on.

The sun had yet to rise on the sixth day when they set out. Natasha took the river, settling herself where she could see the trap, but still avoid detection by the furry thief. Clint had, fortunantly, set the ground traps where he could see both from a nearby tree.

The day proved to be fruitless. They gathered what was caught, and untouched by tiny paws, and returned to camp a few hour after sunset.

Only to find more paw prints and fish missing from the cooler. Other things had been messed with as well. Clints hamock was a mess of leaves and mud, having intentionally been trashed. Natashas, on the other hand, was untouched. The prints made wide arcs around it, giving it a wide berth.

They stared for awhile. The cooler was one of the fancy ones, with a lock. Only the best for Stark. And yet it was clearly missing fish. And only Clints sleeping spot was messed with. It was clearly the work of a small creature, related to a weasel most likely, but the thing had the intelligence of a human. Neither knew what to think.

They elected to sleep on it. Clint readied himself for a long night on a tree branch.

Dawn of the seventh day brought vengeance festering in Clint. He hadn't slept on a tree branch in years. Better than the ground, in his opinion, but still. His hamock was totalled. The rat would pay. 

Eventually, after hours of waiting and searching, they spotted the evil little rodent ("Its not a rodent, Clint."). A mink, solid black except a ragged circle of white on its chest. 

Clint voted to use the spot as a bullseye. Natasha voted to follow it.

Natasha won.

They followed it for some time, electing to ignore the fish for the time being. They'd fetch it later. Eventually the two chose to split ways, Clint taking the high route, while Natasha stalked the furball from the ground. Clint spent the time puzzling over why a semiaquatic animal was venturing so far from water. And in a vaguely Compound direction. 

When is a mink not a mink?

...

(when its a coat.)

\----

Clint swore. He'd lost the little shit, imagining the thing as very warm earmuffs. It wouldn't clash with any of Natashas clothes. Black matches black. Oh well, he shrugged. The ground was still prime for tracks.

\----

The pawprints eventually stopped, but what puzzled the spies as they stood staring at the ground, was the shift to bigger prints. Human prints. Barefoot human prints. And they led across the manicured lawn, compressing the soft grass in a stride that screamed average height and above average ego.

They led to the sidewalk.

The door slid open, controlled by JARVIS. Nobody understood why every door had to be sliding. Clint and Bucky had, once, asked Rhodes and Potts why the mad scientist was so obsessed with sliding doors. Potts had grinned, actually grinned, and Rhodes had shrugged stating that it was a "Tony thing".

The ex-spies entered the compound carefully, not entirely sure what to expect. What they were not expecting was a very naked Tony Stark napping on the couch, dirty feet resting on the arm rest. His hair was a mess, and Clint was pretty sure there was a leaf sticking out of the untamed locks.

"So thats a no on the earmuffs."

Natasha raised one manicured red brow, uninpressed in all her Russian glory.

\----

Clint did get the rodent back for the hamock and the fish. Stark was so freaked that he shifted and hid under the couch for 5 hours. Rhodes had to lure him out with catnip.

Because apparently Tony wasn't just one furry thing. He was all the furry things.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of writing more. One with Thor, Bucky, and Steve. Maybe wolf Tony? And probably one for Loki. Frostiron is OTP, and the thought of cat Tony lounging on Lokis lap is awesome. If anyone has ideas, comment. Its finished, but there can always be another chapter ^.^


End file.
